Tomorrow, for the first time, the whole group I assembled is going to play together - for the first time, I'll hear my compositions played by eight people, two violonists and a violist included. For the first time, after this weekend, I'll have a recording in my hands, a recording of two of my own songs, written on the train from Bern to Basel and back.
I will have to deal with a recording engineer, microphones, the right places and seating arrangements, I will direct the whole thing musically and at the same time try to keep the whole bunch punctual, happy and more or less well-nourished.
And, for me the hardest thing of all, I'll have to will myself into a place where I'll feel self-confident enough to play what I can play, to see something in my head instead of just playing some "right notes" in my solos.
I know it takes a lot of experience, and maybe also a bit more looseness, to get at that point in an always rather stressful studio situation. I guess I'll get there someday. For tomorrow, I just hope I'll be so excited by the new sound that the music behind it will be stronger than my own nervousness. And if I'm not entirely happy by the result - well, then that's apparently what improvisers have to live with. There will always be a next time.
So, officially stated here: this weekend is about firsts - firsts are allowed not to be perfect. Let's see what I can get out of them!
In my opinion improvised music recordings are like photographs of a process - they're not a result in and of themselves. The process is just freeze framed - it's a moment in time. Don't pressure yourself too much - you could stay in the studio for 10 days playing the same music with the same people and get 10 different results. It will be what it will be and the next time it will simply be something else.
ReplyDeleteBut I admit I wasn't so philosophical with MY first recording! Good luck with it all!