Hello summer!

Only a short one for today: it's over! Exams, concerts (well, almost: one left for tomorrow!) ended today.
A warm welcome to the summer break: two and a half months in which one will have to plan, or at least start thinking about, the next big thing to come: the bachelor project. Which people to play with. Concerts to plan, so that all the nice people who support me so much through my doubt-and-irony-ridden days will finally see what I'm doing. A network to be built, so that after the studies there will be contacts and ideas left. Wow, sounds serious already!

But let's not forget: hello summer! long weekends with my friends, and two weeks in Germany with The Paraglider. It's gonna be grrrrreat (isn't this what the Kellogs Tiger says in the US?)!

And lo and behold: two cheesy summer quotes, just for the sake of it:

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.  ~Albert Camus

In summer, the song sings itself.  ~William Carlos Williams

A night at the opera, and: I almost did it!

I've just had a crazy week. Exam time is almost over, everything went well (very well even) until now. I am so unbelievably proud and happy - one week to go and I'll have finished my fourth semester as a jazz student. I did it! I did it, I DID IT! Now, and if only for practical reasons, deciding time is over. In one year, I'll have my bachelor of arts in jazz performance (just saying it out loud makes me proud, writing it down is even better!) One year. 32 weeks of lessons. Not so long any more, and stupid would I be, would I give up now. I'll still have to take one step after the other, and I'll still have to face doubts (appearing out of nowhere like whiny old-lady-ghosts). And: I won't know what the heck I'll do afterwards, how I'll face everyday life as a part-time jazz musician. But I guess I'll have my music degree after all!!

For christmas, The Paraglider had given me opera tickets for yesterday, "Der Freischütz" von Carl Maria von Weber. Me, almost presentable in a nice dress and boots, with drum sticks looking out of my bag, in the Zurich Opera House! Known for pretty conservative productions, nice old building, red carpets and balconies with a view over the Lake and the city - an evening out at the Zurich Opera is really quite the event. I loved it! The Paraglider and me did some pretty ignoble things like drinking out of the faucet in the toilet and ordering a McDonalds-menu not five minutes after the last curtain. And: it's forbidden to take pictures, but I still did it, rebel that I am.

The Paraglider has a natural ability to fit in environments like that, while I may for a second look like I do, but the next will with absolute certainty do something inappropriate. I know he has a great career as a cultural manager ahead of him, he really has all the potential!

About dis- and -satisfaction

"Feeling dissatisfied motivates us to practice and improve or change or advance until we once again feel somewhat satisfied - and the process continues, ad infinitum" - I've read some chapters of trombonist Hal Crook's new book* in the past few days.
Basically he says that satisfaction cannot exist without dissatisfaction, and while dissatisfaction can lead to frustration or anxiety, it is also a pushing factor. Of course this sounds painfully obvious. But let me tell you, as a beginner in jazz improvisation, there is just so much to be dissatisfied with, it's overwhelming, like timing and rhythm, hearing ability, melodic and harmonic concepts, accompaniment, musical development, voicings, etc., etc. What people like me (who are always thinking too much, instead of just doing it) need to do is to find a way to live with dissatisfaction, because it's always going to be a partner in our musical careers. There is always going to be a weak point, or a person who plays better or differently. I always thought that I would one day reach a level when I would approve of my playing, being able to do certain basic things, which would allow me to present myself as a musician equal to hundreds of others, one of them - still wanting to improve, but basically doing ok. After two years of intense studies at the jazz school I'm not so sure when I will reach this point. When something is mastered, there are already a hundred new topics a-waiting. I guess I can say that I am doing well, I get good grades, but I often think that I am so far away from being an individual musician who ought to get on stage.
After reading Hal Crook, I got the feeling that maybe there is a line that needs to be drawn. A line between dissatisfaction and satisfaction, which in fact would define self-confidence. For me, it would maybe sound like that: "Yes, there is a lot to be learnt and practised, and it's good to be aware of that, however, look back on the past few years and start to realize how far you've come (better start doin' that or I'll slap you)".
For example: two months ago, I wasn't really able to improvise freely in 5/4, 7/4 or 11/8. Next monday, I'll play two oddmeter tunes in a concert and in my piano exam on Wednesday, I'll play a solo piece in 5/4. Which means that I am on my way, I guess!

A little picture to lighten the once again philosophical mood: I played a little concert in the basement of a house full of musicians last week. And of course said musicians don't have a normal guestroom with a bed, a nightstand and a lovely flowery lamp - this is where I slept. I've never slept in the same room with a steinway AND a drum (and a blanket with a giant burn mark) before! Cozy and a little scary at the same time...

*"Beyond time and changes: a musician's guide to FREE jazz improvisation", Hal Crook, 2010.

the hairdrier gang

As I mentioned, I went to a performance for a master of arts in music and new media performance this week. What these people do is at least as crazy as what we jazz students do! 

Voilà, this is the setting before the perfomance. Before it started, my friend hung a small block of ice in the middle, and changed the light to blacklight. She had connected all the hairdriers to a mixing desk.
So, after a few words from her teacher, it began.
It was almost completely dark, except for all the teeth and white clothing which, due to the blacklight, put an extraterrestrial glow to the room.
Slowly, the hairdriers began to blow, like an orchestra - first only one, then two, then some together, sometimes all of them, sometimes only a few. You couldn't see stands or cables, only their heads. It looked unbelievable. Somehow, they started to look like creatures! Each of it had its own sound. At some point, the ice started to melt from the heat, and little neon green drops fell on the small table and were blown around, creating moving pictures. Out of many speakers hanging on the walls came sounds that swelled up to a climax, which together with the sound and the smell of the army of hairdriers, the melted ice, the neon colors and crazy white teeth of the people standing around, had an amazing effect, connecting almost all of the five senses.
I have never seen anything like it.
And I have no idea how someone could possibly grade this, or what thoughts and preparations led to it, all I know is that my friend is a wizard in audio engineering - and that apparently she did really good and the teachers were enthusiastic!

I really wonder what kind of career she will find. She's a dear friend of mine, and we have found it a relief to talk to each other about the similar problems or questions we encounter (or in her case encountered!) during art studies in the broadest sense. And I think we both have two sides: the one who is realistic and pragmatic, and the other who can go completely overboard, losing track of time and common sense when working with music.

what swiss people do on weekends

I spent the loveliest weekend in Appenzell, a beautiful, typical swiss-postcardy region. In fact I was hired as a nanny - a great deal for me, because I got to spend the day with my godson, and in return I was given a night in a b&b plus a free meal (I have just great friends!).

So The Paraglider and I had a nice appartment in a b&b somewhere at the end of the wold (just before you fall off the face of the earth!) to ourselves, enjoyed the balcony, a glass of wine, the view, a swiss accordion player and a yodeler (not exaggerated! it's true! you should come and see for yourself how sweet our little country is) and a pedaling and giggling and completely adorable baby. Later, I had to change the latter, which was kind of rock'n'roll, because he farted really loudly the moment I took the nappy off, which put me in a laughing fit (and the baby too!). What didn't help was the TV blasting and the whole changing procedure taking place on one of these really old scratchy armchairs.
The next morning, the sun was shining so persistently that I decided to go read on the balcony, a decision which, due to the creaking floor, didn't make The Paraglider very happy. After an hour in complete bliss all alone on the balcony, the others got up and the nice b&b-owner treated us to a world-record-breaking-breakfast.

We then decided to go to Appenzell, a town that offers every swiss cliché a person could think of. My friend and I went to a shop for traditional costumes and we almost tried something on (I'll have to do that some time!). And then we found ourselves on the Landsgemeindeplatz. In this, let's just say it, conservative region of Switzerland, people used to get together on the town square and do the votes and elections with their hands up. On this very spot, nineteen years ago, women where allowed to vote for the first time, the last place in Europe and the last swiss Kanton (at federal level, women could vote since 1971, which isn't so long ago either!) to finally "give in". IT WAS 1991!!! You're welcome to comment on this particular tidbit of swiss history.

After this royally enjoyable weekend, I found myself having a major mind lapse today. After so much real world, it takes time to get back to the crazy world of the jazz schools. Just a brief summary of my day: I had three band rehearsals, I learned some things about jazz history, did some eartraining, practised on the drums and the piano, mainly 11/8, 7/4 and 5/4, will have a rhythm exam tomorrow. And I will tomorrow listen to or watch a performance of a friend who is doing something with hair driers, it's her master of arts in music and new media project. Which might be quite the event and mentionable here!

Off now to go see The Paraglider, who is sick. Who has a nurse outfit to spare?